


I'm screaming out, "Lord, help me" (I've been lonely)

by moonlightstucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And Bucky’s is on his ass, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Fluff, It’s my first fic in English, Like Steve’s is on his penis, Love at First Sight, M/M, Minor Character Death, Soul marks in very peculiar places, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve feels guilty for surviving, Steve is a bisexual disaster, be kind pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightstucky/pseuds/moonlightstucky
Summary: Steve Rogers wasn’t born with a soul mark, or at least he didn’t have one until he woke up from the ice. Now he’s been kissed by the fate. The only problem is that his soul mark is on his penis.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85
Collections: Stucky Bingo 2020





	I'm screaming out, "Lord, help me" (I've been lonely)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’ll try to be quick with this note.  
> This fic is my fill for the Stucky Bingo 2020, for the square “Soul-marks”.  
> This my first attempt at writing in English since I’m Italian, I’m sorry for the mistakes you’ll find. 😅 Feel free to tell me what I should correct!  
> This isn’t quite the fic I imagined, I wanted to write something funny, but then something else came out and it’s alright. I needed something emotional.  
> Hope you enjoy it!

Sarah Rogers was born with a soul mark on her wrist, right where 18 years later she would’ve been touched for the first time by Joseph, her soulmate.

Even if their love lasted as long as a bubble and sometimes the pain of being without her other half was unbearable, it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Besides, she had the greatest gift: Steve, their sweet angel born without a soul mark.

The nurse that handed her the sick newborn, incredibly pale because of some lungs complications, had a compassionate look on her face.  
Maybe she was thinking that someone was spared from the pain of being born with a soulmate that died at such an young age. 

It wasn’t uncommon or unheard of: the person who lost his/her soulmate had a black mark instead of a bright one.  
Sarah herself had a black mark, since the day Joseph died. 

Sarah wanted to punch the nurse in the face and tell her that his angel was going to be happy, even if the fate didn’t gift him with a soul mark. Even better, he could choose freely who to love and cherish without being obligated to love someone he didn’t even know.

It was alright, she told herself during his childhood. Even when she had to take double shifts at the hospital to support Steve’s medical bills. He was so fragile that a stiff breeze could’ve carried him away. 

“I wouldn’t have a vain hope”, were the words that every doctor pronounced and they sounded like they came from a broken radio. 

But Steve was stronger than medicine and in the hospital everyone whispered that, even if he didn’t have a soulmate, someone in the heavens had interceded for him.

Sarah loved that idea so much that, instead of the goodnight story, she started telling his little angel that he was loved by fate in a different and special way. 

So different and special that, when he was found alive seventy years later after trying to save the world during World War II, he finally had his soul mark. 

Where?

On his penis. 

✪

Sometimes Steve hates his job as Captain America. 

Sometimes he hates the fact that he was defrosted to fight against villains that claim to be able to control all the crickets in the United States or to be responsible for a new alien invasion.

But what he hates the most is that sometimes the Avengers are assembled just because the press wants to write an article about their difficult lives and the even more difficult research of their soulmates.

Yesterday several gossip magazines claimed to know where his soul mark was. Three pages full of nothing, he read them at breakfast.

Steve is just tired of this shit. 

He’s so tired that he doesn’t have the strength to complain about the soul mark that the fate imprinted on his penis, where –according to the popular belief – his soulmate will touch him for the first time.

He falls on his bed and sleeps for the next seventeen hours, dreaming of his lovely mother scolding him for being so ungrateful.

✪

He doesn’t know why or when he let Natasha convince him that this date could’ve been life changing. Maybe he was tired of moping around the Avengers Tower and was ready to add love to his lonely life.

Or maybe it was right after Thor hit him on the head with his hammer.

The date is awful and the girl – whose name sounds like Janine or Jasmine, but he really can’t tell, since the other costumers were speaking too loud for his super hearing and it’s too rude to ask again – doesn’t hide her boredom. 

After the embarrassing conversation about their soul marks, Steve tries to ask her about her job, her interests.  
All that he gets is "I’m waiting for a sugar daddy” and that is a bit uncomfortable because Steve doesn’t have an idea of what a ‘sugar daddy’ is. He’ll ask Jarvis later.

He smiles politely and asks for the bill.

He pays with Natasha’s credit card, gives Jasmine/Janine an handshake and wishes her good luck with her life, hoping to never meet her again.

Now he’s waiting to go to the bathroom to wash away the terrible sensation that he’s going to die alone. 

His mother would’ve rolled her eyes and told him that he’s so dramatic he could’ve become a successful actor.

But, you know, reaching your hundredth birthday without someone by your side is really sad. Sure, he isn’t a virgin since the 30s, he‘s had his fair amount of sex and cuddles, but he never fell in love with someone. And that’s what everybody talks about nowadays.

Before his thoughts reach the lowest point, he finds himself on the floor with an hand on his crotch and his hand on a stranger’s ass.

He removes his hand as if it is burning and stares at the most beautiful baby blue eyes that he ever has had the pleasure to meet.

And it’s in this moment that he understands that this man is his soulmate and that he’s destined to live his life with him. He could wax poetry about his lips and the dimple on his chin.

But life isn’t a romantic comedy and the pressure on his cock is so painful that he has to reach for the hand that is groping him and tell the waiters that everything is alright, even if nothing really is.

The stranger rolls away and is unstable on his feet. He can’t stop looking at Steve and his lips are moving, but his voice is stuck somewhere inside of him.

Steve hauls himself from the floor and tries to adjust his rumpled clothes. 

He would like to scream at the top of his lungs that he has found his soulmate, but he stays silent until the waiters are all gone.

Meanwhile he lets himself observe the man in front of him.

He is tall, more than the average, and has brown hair, halfway up in a man bun. He’s wearing a suit that seems tailored and the lights of the restaurant reflect on the golden band that he has on his ring finger.

Fuck, that’s what Steve deserves after living part of his life without a soulmate.

He starts to tear up without a reason and has to take a deep breath before meeting the other man’s eyes.

«Uhm, hi, I suppose? It’s – it’s nice to meet you.»

He’s met with silence and he wonders if his parents’ first meeting was so awkward.  
His mother used to tell him how her insides were full of butterflies and how loved she felt. 

Steve doesn’t feel this way, it’s almost like a fire is burning inside his veins and it’s really difficult to focus on something that isn’t the brunette.

He almost misses the soft and yet strangled «hi, same here» that the man says. 

«Can we speak somewhere else? I feel like all the people in the restaurant are staring at us, like we are a freak show.», Steve asks some moments later, when the silence stretches for too long.

It’s not everyday that Captain America goes to a restaurant with a woman, gets on the floor and touches a man’s ass. Steve really hopes that this story remains inside these walls, but he’s already imagining tomorrow articles about this.

‘Captain America gets frisky with a man in a restaurant?’

‘Steve Rogers, the bisexual disaster we didn’t know we needed’, and shit like that.

The man nods and looks briefly back to his table. Is he apologising to his wife or husband, waiting for him?

Steve doesn’t want to suffer more than he already does and reaches the exit of the restaurant, getting in the alley.  
He hopes that the man follows him when he’s done.

All he needs now is some alone time to digest the news and maybe calm his beating heart before he has a stroke.

Okay, he has a soulmate. 

He’s breathtaking and seems to be married.  
It’s very very wrong trying anything with him. 

But what if he’s not really married? He could’ve simply misplaced the finger the ring was on.  
He read somewhere that is common nowadays that people marry themselves, what if he’s one of those people?

He’s muttering something under his breath when someone approaches him. 

He looks up and the man is staring right at his soul. Steve feels naked and all his emotions are threatening to burst outside.

«I’m not married.», is the first thing that he says and Steve is too relieved to be embarrassed about saying his thoughts out loud.

«That’s- that’s great! I mean, I’m sure a lot of people would marry you, you seem a good person and I can’t see a reason why someone wouldn’t want to pass their life with you. But I’m selfishly happy that you’re not taken, even if I don’t know your name – I’m Steve, by the way – and I’m nervous and I’m babbling so much. I’m sorry, now I’m going to shut up.»

The other man’s eyes are sparkling and he is trying so hard to contain a laugh that his shoulders are trembling. 

Perfect, he just made himself a fool. 

«I’m Bucky. Well, James Buchanan Barnes really, but I go by Bucky. I’m as nervous as you are, Steve. I finally found my soulmate after being on earth for thirty two years and it is as rewarding and embarrassing as I imagined it would’ve been.»

He smiles and it’s like the sun is shining in a rainy day. Steve is mesmerised and wishes he could take a picture of this moment to prove that he isn’t imagining anything. 

«I can’t actually say that I’m sorry that I touched you where I did, only the fate is to blame for the peculiar places our soul marks are. When my mom saw it at first, she thought I would’ve become a stripper.»

Suddenly melancholy is starting to spread all over the alley and Steve’s hands twitch to hug him and give all the comfort he needs.

«Anyway, to answer the question you didn’t ask, I’m not married.»

He takes off his ring and shows Steve the inside, where _George Barnes_ is written in fine littering. 

«It was my mom’s wedding ring. She wanted me to give it to my soulmate, whenever I found him. And even if she’s not here anymore, I promised her that I would’ve given it to my other half. So, it’ll be yours, Steve, if you’ll have me.»

Bucky loses his previous confidence and seems insecure, chewing on his lower lip and waiting for Steve’s words. 

Obviously the blonde’s attention zeroes on the Bucky’s lips and he has to take a few deep breaths to not let his imagination go further. A boner is the most unwanted thing right now.

He has to focus. Bucky is showing his vulnerability, with his heart on his sleeve, the least he could do is letting his heart take over.

«I wasn’t born with a soulmate. I can’t tell if it was a blessing or a curse, knowing that I didn’t have someone who would go through the fire for me and that would always have my back, no matter what. I used to be so pissed off, you can’t even imagine.»

He hated so much his mother’s story about how loved he was by the fate, even if he didn’t have a soulmate. It was a lie and they both knew that. 

Steve wanted to feel loved by someone in the same visceral way that Mrs Robinson told him while he was keeping her company. She found her soulmate during high school and the look in her eyes every time she spoke of his Alfred was something Steve desired with all of his fragile heart. 

«Then came the war and Dr Erskine chose me also because I didn’t have a soul mark. Suddenly everyone was looking at me because I became this... – he gestures to the body that the serum gave him, struggling to find a word that can compress everything he thinks about himself – and still I didn’t have a soul mark. It was alright, because I didn’t expect to survive the war. I saw so many soldiers dying whispering their soulmate’s name.»

His last words are a whisper and he has to stay silent for some time. 

The guilt of having survived still haunts him at night when he can’t sleep.  
It’s just unfair. And even more unfair is that he woke up with a soul mark, like the fate decided to make up for the time he lived without one.

He feels a soft touch on his arm and notices that Bucky has this look on his face that is not pity nor compassion, but seems like understanding. 

And in this precise moment he is absolutely certain that this man is the half he knew he missed.

Steve can’t resist anymore and hugs him with all the strength he can manage without risking of crashing him and is relieved when Bucky doesn’t go rigid and reciprocates the hug with the same feeling.

«I can’t promise that it’ll go away; it doesn’t disappear only because you found your person. But I can promise you that I’ll be by your side. Now that I found you, you’re stuck with me ‘till the end of the line, pal.»

Steve laughs wetly and this is everything he could’ve ever hoped for. He’s sure that somewhere his mother is smiling at him.

«’Till the end of the line, I can manage that.»

**Author's Note:**

>  **Title:** I'm screaming out, "Lord, help me" (I've been lonely)  
>  **Creator:** moonlightstucky  
>  **Card number:** 067  
>  **Link:** https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364229  
>  **Square filled:** D5, Soul-marks  
>  **Rating:** General Audiences  
>  **Archive warnings:** No Archive Warnings Apply  
>  **Major tags:** Captain America/Modern Bucky Barnes, Steve needs an hug, Soulmates AU  
>  **Summary:** Steve Rogers wasn’t born with a soul mark, or at least he didn’t have one until he woke up from the ice. Now he’s been kissed by the fate. The only problem is that his soul mark is on his penis.  
>  **Word count:** 2279


End file.
